(carbombs x no sleep) + work = ughhhhh

It was St. Pat’s. I intended to go home and work out but what happened? I ended up at a coworker’s bar and drank my face off. Two carbombs, a Jager shot, and several beers later I stumble my drunk ass home at 1:30am, ate a bowl of frosted mini wheats (which subsequently got spilled all over the sheets) and collapsed in a smoky, stale heap on the bed. This morning was a nightmare. I am shaky and moving slow like I am stuck in a bowl of molasses. I have “Don’t Stop Believin” looping in my head. I have back to back meetings all day today and while I planned on leaving a little early my boss scheduled a last minute quarterly review a half hour before close of business. Sigh.

Note to self: personal control in alcoholic relations will probably help in the future. No more drinking!!

d.

XM Radio and my teen years – a link?

I was listening to my XM the other day in the car and they have this 90s station that pretty much always plays good music. I’ve started realizing more and more that I am becoming that grouchy old lady that bitches for kids to get off her lawn and turn down the radio (for the record my volume in the car is pretty steadily set at 8). But I have to say, that 90s music, like the old Biggie stuff, (hell I’ll even take Bon Jovi half the time over some of the crap that is on the “today’s music now!!” stations) was actually pretty good. It had a storyline, it had a beat, and it wasn’t just about how much money you had and how many ho’s you had in your Benz. I think it’s that the music I liked when I was growing up has stuck with me in the same way my grandmother would listen to the 50s station on the radio everywhere, and my dad would always play “Paint It Black” to rock out. Yes I might be lame. But I will take DMB over Soulja Boy (is he a person or a song? I don’t even know) every day of the week and twice on Sunday. I might be partial but I think the line to “superman them ho’s” is a little annoying and when I found out what it meant well… my husband thought it was hilarious and started liking the song and I hated that idiot even more for getting famous on such a thing. See? I AM old and bitter. I can just see myself swinging my cane around at the young whipper snappers now.

d.

Is coffee the new water?

YES! I love coffee. Especially recently, since I’ve started walking and I can go get the coffee I like at the bagel shop on my way to work. It’s the new water….except you probably still have to drink water to avoid dehydration and malnutrition and all that lame stuff.

Go get yourself some coffee and enjoy it today. I did.

Anyway, I was thinking of putting up a poll or something to find out what people’s favorite kind of coffee is. Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, Folgers…lol…? Whatever’s clever. But I decided that would be a stupid idea because no one would participate since no one reads this blog anyway, except for the two people who write it.

Next post will probably be something like, ” Are blogs the new journals?” or “Is silver the new gold?”. I’m asking the questions that matter here! It’s too bad no one knows that though. I’m going to finish drinking my cup of coffee now, and follow it up with a nice cold bottle of water. Ciao!

-N-

School Bus Blues

I thought when I stopped riding the school bus, my problems with it would go away. There are times in my life that I have exhibited behavior that might lead one to believe that I don’t have a lot of patience, but I’d say 70% of the time, I do. That’s not a bad percentage…right?

Anyway, if there’s one thing I’ve lost my patience for, it’s school buses. Obviously, they’re a necessity. And I wouldn’t mind if they stopped every now and then to pick up children. But the school bus stops have gotten out of control on my morning commute. Can someone explain to me why two kids who’s driveways are 15 ft away from each other can’t meet in one driveway so that the bus doesn’t stop once and then roll 10 ft to stop again? And this isn’t just one case of 2 kids with driveways near each other. This goes on for 17 stops all the way up the road. That’s 17 stops all within 100 ft. For real?

Uuummmm…from elementary school all the way into high school I walked up the block and met up with 2 or 3 other students who walked from up the block and around the corner to meet at ONE bus stop (I just realized that I sound like a grandparent complaining how I had to walk 4 miles to school with no shoes on, in the snow).

I don’t know what the deal with this is. There’s like this whole new wave of complaining parents that probably don’t think their children should have to walk 10 ft away to catch a bus and not be part of a problem that makes a high traffic area even worse. I’m sure they started a petition on the school district to make it so their kids all get picked up at the end of their driveways and once that was settled they complained that the Christmas Concert should now be called the “Winter” concert….and then I’m sure they organized those little league sports teams where no one wins, it’s just for fun so no one’s feelings get hurt…and so on…

Ugh.

-N-

For once, on a positive note… ehhh maybe not…

I watched the inaugural address last week and I have to say that I have a bit of hope for the country. I wasn’t completely devoid of hope prior to watching but I think a change of administration will probably get things moving, and hopefully, all these layoffs will stop. My Hubster (aka C) works for AOL and they just sent out a company wide email saying they are dumping 10% of their workforce over the next few quarters so that’s always awesome news to hear. We are in the same spot as most other people in that if we are laid off without pay we are pretty screwed, and the thought of becoming a statistic is depressing. It makes me wish we had planned better for tough times, and definitely shouldn’t have bought this a-hole house!

More on politics though. Many people are down on G-Dub and I can somewhat understand their frustrations but really, the recession/depression we’re in doesn’t directly reflect on him, the economy is cyclical and always has been. The mortgage security market has collapsed because of poor lending tactics, ineffective legislation and regulation, and loose lending. They are now (or were previously) giving mortgages to people with no social security numbers. How is that even possible? My mortgage people tried to push an adjustable rate mortgage on me, and an interest only loan, but I did my own research and found out for myself that those mortgages are crap. I have little sympathy for those people who did not do their own investigating when making the biggest investment they’ll likely ever make in their lives. And they know how much their finances allow as far as housing payments, don’t let some money hungry real estate agent tell you that you’re qualified for more than you can afford (in my case if I had listened I’d be in a world of trouble!). But only I know what my budget allows. Don’t be stupid.

This is turning out to be not as positive as I had hoped.

More on GW. I don’t think it’s fair to judge him on things, decisions he’s made, when we are not presented with the full evidence of the situation. Yes, some choices he’s made have not turned out to be correct but at the time, who knows? We are not all allowed top-secret security clearance so there is probably a ton of information out there that we are not privileged with. I think that as President, he had a pretty good handle on things, and we don’t give him credit for keeping our country relatively safe. I suppose it’s a matter of opinion really but he doesn’t seem like that bad of a guy. He seems like he tries hard and does what he thinks is right, which I don’t think anyone can fault him for.

~D~

This only furthers my displeasure with you, house!

I will keep this short and to the point. DO NOT BUY A HOUSE.

My water heater has gone after only three years, max (and for those of you unfamiliar with the product life of a water heater it’s about 10-15 years). I have been without hot water in my house for about a week now, after waking up on my damn birthday to an icy shower. Lucky for me the home warranty company covers the water heater (after giving us a hefty denial on plumbing clogs) and it will only run me $55 to fix. However I have been showering at the gym with a bunch of naked strangers who walk around like bushwomen with their cooters and shit all hanging out. Hello, you have a towel in your HAND. Put it around your ass and cover up. The last thing I want to see at 6am is some wrinkly puss. And if you can’t tell already, I am pretty bitter.

~D~

Is whining a sport for you too?

The Giants lost. I’ll say it again, the Giants lost. You want some cheese with that whine???

I’m not going to write a sports blog. I’m going to tell you to act like the tough guy you claim to be and stop bitching about it. All day at work today I’m going to have to hear about this sob story. I guess the Giant’s loss could be considered a “water cooler discussion”, but the last time I checked, the water cooler isn’t right outside my office. It’s on the other side of the building in the make-shift kitchen. You can also find some napkins there to dry your eyes.

Does anyone else here have an actual job to do? This isn’t ESPN and you’re not being paid to give your own personal commentary on the game that took place yesterday. We all know what happened, if I wanted a replay I’d watch SportsCenter.

This is not a personal attack towards Giants fans. Last year’s superbowl win handed me $400 and I thank them for that. I’m not saying it doesn’t suck to watch a team with a near perfect record just blow it all during playoffs, just shut your mouth about it especially when your standing right outside my office. I don’t want to hear your opinion on what went wrong and what Manning should have done differently. He gets paid millions of dollars to screw everything up at the last minute…you don’t. So while he’s laughing all the way to the bank, maybe you should get back to your seat and at least pretend to do your job.

Thanks.

-N-

Hooray for Homeownership

I figured that my luck had improved when I saw Dave Chappelle at a Dunkin Donuts in the middle of nowhere. I was actually looking forward to this year considering it started out better than last year did (and to be honest not much more could go wrong than did in 2008 so, I suppose I had hope?). I won a few hands of cards against my in-laws which never happens… I got home… cleared out the fridge… washed some dishes… lo and behold the drain is all backed up. AWESOME! I grab the plunger… doesn’t work. I turn on the disposal and the water goes down only to come back at me, at rocket speeds. I turn on the laundry not thinking it’s going to cause any more problems but what happens? A giant cascading waterfall comes through the light fixture in the ceiling and pours onto the counter. HOORAY! Everything is soaked, including the receipts that I needed to make some Christmas exchanges. The ceiling is currently bowed out in a square shape, which means to me this has happened before… and I think that spot needs to be replaced. The plumber got here and what I thought was covered by my home warranty is absolutely not covered. What I believed would cost $55 for a deductible, has shot through the roof and will cost nearly $200. Oh and just for a chuckle I asked Mr. Plumber if I could have fixed this myself… take a guess what his answer was… yep! Oh, and have I mentioned it’s Christmas? Did I forget the part about just starting to feel like I’d gotten my feet beneath me again? So… I talked it over with the Boss (ha ha) and we are never buying a house again. Ever.

Owning a house is BS.

On the plus side, I am going to get around to painting one of these days and it might finally be something I can stand to look at instead of just this jail-cell beige all over the place.

~D~

I can’t wait for 2008 to be over.

So the night before Thanksgiving this year, I dislocated and tore ligaments in my ankle. Ouch. Won’t bore you with the details. I haven’t been walking since then, so it’s been over a month now. My arms are starting to get buff from crutching my ass around everywhere but that’s besides the point because my left leg has the consistency of jell-o from not being used at all.

About 2 or 3 weeks prior to this unlucky incident, I hit a deer. Not just a deer, but the bigger ones with antlers on their heads. (Yes I know, they’re called bucks but I’m trying to be descriptive and dramatic so just go with it). Rudolph the 300 pound reindeer even left me a nice deer hair souvenir in the front of the car before he went prancing off to go find Santa’s sled or whatever.

So I’m not bitter about either of these two situations at all. Nope not bitter at all. I’ve moved on. UNTIL Chrsitmas day. I was driving (one of the few things I still take pleasure in doing with one leg available) when out of no where I see something out the car window to my right…its moving…quickly…and then THUNK, BANG, SLAM, POW! I really thought I had hit a person. I thought I was going to the slammer to be someone’s one-legged bitch. A quick glance in my rear view mirror while I swallowed my heart told me otherwise. It was a deer. Seriously? This one didn’t run in front of my car like most do. Instead it literally rammed itself into the rear passenger side of my car, and once again took off running.

I could have even overlooked this incident. Until the next day.

I fell. Again. It was like deja vu. And what I now refer to as my “good ankle” was the victim. I don’t think it’s necessary to talk about how I was hopping on a uneven surface and lost my balance and all that. It doesn’t matter! I’m the one who’s being wronged here!!! Fortunately, the “better” ankle is only a little sore, no major injuries. Oh and that second deer somehow managed not to do much damage to my car.

Sure I’m thankful for that much. Definitely not bitter. Nope, not at all. I can’t wait til this year ends though.

Screw you ’08. And a Happy New Year to all.

-N-

stupid ass people

Well I’ve already been introduced so there is no need for me to do that. I’ll just jump right in and get this off my chest! I should have probably said something about sunshine and butterflies, something carefree and optimistic but no, why start off all awkwardly and on a dishonest note? I don’t like when it’s too sunny and butterflies are stupid.  So here we go.

First let me start by saying I’m disappointed in humanity as a whole so this is directed at no particular group other than those I’d deem to be “stupid,” which as it turns out is a pretty large populous.  Allow me to begin my rant.

Bad Drivers: Basically where I live there is no shortage of this category and just had the joy of another encounter mere moments ago.  Why, for the love of all that is holy, do these people feel the need to cut me off to go 45 when I am already in the fast lane going 70? Their signals never work (and if they do they are never utilized), the gas pedal is left untouched, and God forbid they stay in their own lane when they turn. Wagging their middle fingers at me for honking at them when I have to slam on the brakes, they resume putting the lives of strangers in peril as they accelerate to a scandalous 50mph in their suburban Mom-mobiles.

Question-askers: As a disclaimer I’ll say that there is nothing wrong with asking questions when necessary. I’ve asked one or two in my lifetime (I already know most of what there is to know ha ha). However. PLEASE if you are going to ask me a question, write down the answer. If I say to you, “you should probably write this down” I am not wasting my breath telling you this, I am saving my own time later because I know this will come up again and I’ll be annoyed when you have to waste my time by asking me again, making me ANSWER you again.  This aggravates me and makes me not want to help you in the future. I’ll also probably talk about you behind your back a little because I tend to do that when I’m pissed. Hope you didn’t tell me anything important! Tee hee!

Trashy Skanks/Gold Diggers/General Stupid Females: On the radio this morning I heard something interesting. These chicks were calling up saying how much they’d need a guy to be making in order to settle down with them. One person said $500,000. Yes you read that correctly and no there are no extra 0’s in there. This is exactly the reason men are afraid to tell women how much they make and also why there are so many bitter, washed up women out there. If money is your only standard I feel sorry for you.  There’s this family I know that has tons of money but one of the kids was born with a brain defect and the other one just got into therapy for being a pre-teen anorexic. But they can get that brand new Benz and go to the Outer Banks for vacation! That’s clearly more important. (insert eyeroll here)

Annoying Coworkers: You have to see them everyday and there is no escape! I say good morning when I come in, bless you when you sneeze, good night when I leave, and every other basic nicety there could possibly be but you sit there in your little annoying bubble slurping your coffee and gossiping on the phone to your friends. I do not care how “wasted” you got last night. Just do the report I asked you to do. Please. And stop saying things like you are an extra from Clueless. The word is FUNNY not FUNNAY. Oh My God is three syllables, not twelve. I really wish one day that I could punch you anonymously and not have any repercussions. Especially today.

*sigh*

-D-